How To: Survive A Zombie Apocalypse on O‘ahu
Originally Appearing in " Hawai'i Intrigue" (Abstract 4)
Text by James Charisma // Images by Grace Chee
The unlikely (yet fascinating) possibility of a zombie outbreak has been the cause for much discussion since George A. Romero introduced the concept in his 1968 film, Night of the Living Dead. More than 40 years later, the perceived threat is as popular as ever thanks to AMC’s The Walking Dead and Max Brooks’ popular book World War Z (and subsequent film).
Because of its location in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, 2,500 miles from the nearest continent, Hawaiʻi would seem to be an ideal spot to escape from a zombie-infected world. But what if the outbreak started here? After rounding up your friends and family, what would you do and where would you go?*
*DISCLAIMER: This ”guide” is a story for entertainment purposes ONLY. Do not attempt any part of the fictional elements listed below for any reason in real life whatsoever.**
**Do keep an emergency survival kit. That’s actually a really good thing to have.
1. Be Prepared
The Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommends survival kits in case of a natural disaster. We recommend one for an unnatural disaster as well. Prep survival materials in a “go bag”--a duffel or backpack ready to grab at a moment’s notice. City Mill is a great spot to load up.
Abstract’s Kit: Food (non-perishable canned items and can opener), medication (prescription or over-the-counter), clothing, tools (duct tape, battery-powered radio, utility knife, cooking gear), important documents (passports, birth certificates), first aid supplies, water (you will need one gallon a day), flashlights, and waterproof matches.
2. Suit Up
There are about a million people (potential zombies) on Oʻahu. And although it’ll be impossible to stand and fight them all, you will need to prepare for encounters with the living dead. Grab lightweight weapons you feel comfortable using, a durable jacket, gloves, hiking shoes, and maybe a helmet. We’re headed to Sports Authority.
Abstract’s Armor: Canvas Jacket ($82), BMX gloves ($30), Magnum Waterproof Workboots ($120), Titanium Alloy Baseball Bat ($200+), Gerber Gator Machete ($22).
3. Time To Go Mobile
In the early stages of infection, zombies won’t be as much of a threat as panic and looting. All the places people will think of going to for help (police stations, hospitals, Costco) will most likely be overrun. If quarantines prove impossible, the US may consider ways to “neutralize” the threat by any means necessary. You will need to evacuate Honolulu as soon as possible; might as well travel in style. Buy a Bentley, Maserati, Lamborghini, or Ferrari from the JN Automotive Group at the Vanguard Lofts.
Abstract’s Ride: The 2010 Bentley Continental Supersports ($155,000). It’s the zombie apocalypse—if not now, when?
4. Go North, The Rush Is On
Travel to the North Shore of Oʻahu. It’ll be easier to defend a position here then, say, Chinatown. Even if the walking dead do swarm the beaches, the North Shore has clear access to open water. Taking a boat or paddling out allows for a return to a different section of the beach—hopefully one that’s zombie-free.
Abstract’s Base: The Marconi Wireless Station at Kahuku. Formerly a multi-storied, multi-building facility, this hidden spot on the North Shore previously housed a radio station in 1914, and a former military airfield during WWII. The massive foot-thick concrete buildings, although dilapidated, still stand.
5. Settle In
If the zombie outbreak lasts for more than a week, you will need to find your own sources of food. The North Shore has plenty of options, including the option to fish, and room to plant fresh vegetation or raise livestock.
Abstract’s Plants: We’re not skilled farmers, so we’re relying on one of the most reliable and easiest seeds to plant: the coconut. It’s able to survive in diverse environments, develops quickly, yields food and water, and is transportable and resilient. The coconut is one of our top resources in the new world—just as it was for the first Polynesians arriving to Hawai‘i. Somehow, this fictional threat of zombies has found a way to bring us back to our roots.